The Empire

Shiny caverns are no safer than dank ones

July 15th session

Excerpt from the Journal of Thaddeus Bonfellow

I write this shortly after the unfortunate and regrettable venture in the township of Redcliff. Although the witch and I were not able to provide the humble civic service that we intended, and she did meet her untimely end, I can at least be comforted that we did not leave these kind people without appointing some appropriate measure of mayoral guidance. I was quite grieved after the acting mayor needlessly endangered himself in his rash pursuit of his vanished father.

After some difficulty learning the craft of the witch’s broom, and without the benefit of the excellent horses that bore us there, I was able to return safely to the tower. I regrettably informed the others that our faithful witch Sylvia had meet a ghastly end, and that hopefully she was happily brewing potions in whatever ethereal swamp hut she may consider heavenly paradise.

Aradeck, with his deft writing hand, was generous enough to help me correct some minor oversight of mine in the matter of the horses, wherein I must have misplaced the invoices I was to faithfully deliver to the townsfolk. With the help of a courier all accounts were once again set right.

I remember little else of my return after the meeting of an excellent dwarven brewmaster sojourning at the tower. My constitution and temperance would not allow me to celebrate quite to the extent as did my dwarven friends. But just as every dwarven meeting is filled with cheer, the meeting of a dwarven brewmaster is even more so.

It is not without some perturbation that I describe the events that transpired after waking from the previous night’s revelry. We set out from the tower on some errand, and immediately upon entering the inn we saw the most hideously cruel spectacle I have yet encountered. The innkeeper and staff were inhumanly brutalized; the tenants of some hackneyed thrift store philosophy were scrawled above their mistreated persons.

After some effort we tracked those responsible to a most curious throne room hidden beneath one of the ramshackle hovels typical of the poorer areas of the lawful evil district. Upon our initial entrance we were rudely confronted by a pair of ugly eye beasts. Thankfully the blinding powder that I had resourcefully acquired proved most effective, and a few dashing rapier drives later one of them lay vanquished at the feet of yours truly. Torrent exterminated the other with great self-satisfaction after his first meeting with the creature had resulted in an uncomfortable sort of eye monster embrace.

The boom bequeathed to me by the late Sylvia proved most helpful in navigating the odd twists of a perplexingly shaped steel cavern found below leading up to the throne room I alluded to previously. I hesitate to call it a labyrinth, as it had but one passage and was not infested with Minotaur, and I certainly wouldn’t consider it a receiving hall. It must be one of those maddeningly inconsiderate architectures of beings able to shed bodily form and without the decorum to lend any consideration to their prospective guests. In an extension of these bad manners, rather than leave on a light for any unfamiliar with the turns of their cavern, they left a darkness exuding dragon in the corridor, which proved an additional annoyance.

Two of the uncouth creatures who were our hosts we found awaiting us in the throne room with some number of pet dogs. Torrent brushed most of them aside with some kind of ‘ignite canine’ incantation. (Honestly, there seems to be no limit to the number things this dwarf is willing to set on fire!) When our host turned out to be the disturbed little girl posted outside of Manus’s palace, Torrent delivered the communiqué requested by our dear innkeeper in the manner he best was able. (Again, it was fire)

Aradeck set about looking for the monster’s treasure to fairly compensate us for the trouble they had instigated, and unfortunately set off the traps in both of the chests we encountered. This expedited our sally from this poorly designed and unwelcoming fortress, and we returned home to the tower to recuperate.

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